A Real Relationship...

I know it is only my second day back at blogging...And I don't mean to be Debby Downer in anyway...But I'm supposed to write about what is weighing heavy on my heart...So here is todays post...When you think about a relationship you usually assume the person is talking about their Soul Mate or Better (Or Worse) Half...Friendship never really pops into your head...Well...Yesterday I was passing Casey's old house where he grew up...And there was this little tall lanky boy raking the yard...I found myself taken back in time...There he was (not that he would be raking...LOL) and a ton of memories flooded my head...You see...Most people focus on their partner so much that they tend to lose sight of friendships...I mean I know it is human nature...But it's not until you lose someone important in your life that you are reminded how much you need to express your love to all of those in your life...I so shouldn't be typing this at work...Due to the fact that I am sitting here crying...God I miss him...But that being said...I am glad to say that the last time I spoke with him we both told each other we loved one another...I even have a text saved that he sent me telling me and saying he would always be my BFF...Well guys...Sometimes always is not all that long...Embrace all the ones you love in your life and tell them you love them daily...And I don't care if you say it once or a hundred times...Those we love can't hear it enough!!!Trust me...I wish he were here so I could tell him just one more time...XOXO...~Mia

Long Distance (PS...I'm Baaack!!!)

I know...I know...It's been FOREVER!!! I couldn't even remember my password so they had to E-Mail it to me...Anywho...Reading my past post I was like WTF...I mean Really...I totally laugh about it now!!!And sorry for the Christmas Pic...But we just look to cute...LOL...So what to talk about this year since I am over having my heart ripped out and stomped on with the hooves of Satan...LOL...How about this...RELATIONSHIPS!!! I know...you would think that after all the ones I've been in I would of learned a thing or two...Negative Ghost Rider!!! So...I've joined this dating website called Evow...It's supposed to be life for people really looking for their "Soul Mate"...I don't know if that is one word or two...but from my experience they don't belon together!!! I joined because everyone of POF just wanted to get laid...And ummm...Hi...I'm not a hooker...Get on Back Page (Not that I've ever done that...Bible) So I have been texting this guy who lives in Houston...I so need to get out of the small town atmosphere...Everyone has to stay hidden in their closet at their grandma's house...UGH...Anywho...He is my ideal man...He played sports in High School (Baseball of Course)..He dresses preppy...but is country...Like riding horses country!!! He has a Job, Car, & Home (All of my Besties JillyBeans requirements for me)...I mean I'm super stoked...but what about the distance??? They say distance makes the heart grow fonder...But I'm sure somthing else would grow if it were right there and ready in front of you!!! So what should I do...Long Distance???IDK...But I'll keep you posted...XOXO...~Mia

The Hitch Hiker...

OK...So after letting Vanessa's advice marinate...and hearing from my Lil' Shire friend Brooke that her mother thought my blog was depressing...I was like...WHOA!!! Pump the breaks...So I took it to the back porch with LeeLee who was part of OUR everyday life...and she put it like this...Say that we judged...like looks...Love on a 1 - 10 scale...I loved him 10...but he only love me a 4 or 5...and I need...want..and deserve a 10...I mean I'm a big freaking deal!!! So it finally hit me that he never loved me and that it is his loss and NOT mine!!! That being said...this is supposed to be about the life of Mia Fabulous...Sorry that I got off track...but your one and only Socialite is back...~ Mia Fabulous

So today while out running errands (getting horse feed) it was pouring down rain...well...and I swear it was like a scene out of a movie...I see this guy walking down the road...Totally Buff...shirtless with the rain just pounding off his body...So me...being the nice person I am...pull over and ask if he needed a ride...He leaned into the window...with the rain drippin off his A & F body and said...Come again...I swear I melted into my seat...So I ask again...Do you need a ride into town...He grapped his sunglasses and took them off and wiped the water out of his eyes and said no thank you I'm just going right her...OMG...OK...here is the kicker...Why in the hell...would I pull over to pick up a hitch hiker...And no it was not because I was trying to do my good deed of the day...It's because I saw a total hot guy...who was all buff...walking...and let's keep that word in mind....down the road...Why in the hell am I attracted to douche bag losers...I mean HELLO...he didn't have a car...and an ever bigger kicker to the story...the house he said he was going to my police friend told me it was being watched for drugs...REALLY!!! I swear...it's like I'm in my slum phase of life...PULL THE TRIGGER...anywho...no more 4's or 5's...I'm determined to find my 10 (on both scales...LOL)

Life Goes On...

Well...I haven't written in awhile and I can feel the effects of it...Writing was my way of venting...My own diary if you will...only the whole world could read it...Well...I'm back...You see we are approaching the 3 month mark of The Breakup!!! And most people would of moved on by now...but not me...I have tried don't get me wrong...It's just that I am the type of person that when I give someone my heart...It belongs to them...call me old fashion if you will...And yes...He is a piece of shit loser...but...he was my piece of shit loser...and I'm not gonna lie...I miss him...Momma Roni says to just give it time...and that I'm only remembering the good things...which...she is soooo right...I mean...I stay busy doing Charity work...Fundraisers...I am out almost every night...but that's just it...I'm out ever night...and I know I have to come home alone...Thank God my friend Marina is staying with my this week or I would have been a basket case!!! Am I being stupid??? I thought when you told someone you love them and they told you the same thing...that it meant forever...Well...My forever only lasted two years...and I know I have to suck it up and move on with my life...hell...I've even joined dating websites...REALLY...is that what it takes these days??? and you should see who all is out there...and just my luck everyone I'm attracted to is like 20-25...FML...here I am 30 something and getting hit on by 18 year olds or ugly fat guys...and I know beauty is only skin deep...But that ugly goes really deep as well...Just sayin'...Oh well...same shit different day...I guess I should thank him for one thing...I had true love...and don't they say that it is better to have been loved than to of had none at all...I just know one thing...I'm ready for that love again...then maybe I will be able to move on...

Truth Be Told...

OK...So today started out pretty shitty I must admit...And as hardcore I sound with my words about getting over an X...It's not all that easy...And yes...I should of moved on by now...I mean HELLO it's been almost 2 months...I know it seems like forever ago...So I woke up this morning...on the couch...still having trouble sleeping in the bed alone...I know I'm weird...anywho...So it just hit me...I was sad as hell...went and got that BOX we all keep for some reason...with pictures...movie tickets...fortune cookie saying...you know what I'm talking about...and I just started balling...I mean...2 years of loving someone with all my heart and soul...and then one day it is just gone...I honestly think it would be easier if they had died...that way I would of had some type of closer...but I don't...and the sad thing is...I never will...And I only think of all of our good times we had...I was talking to an X today...Dock Guy...who knows The X-Factor and he told me about something he had heard he had done...and it was so awful...that even I was shocked that he could stoop to such level...Then I just shook my head and started remembering all the bad...all the lies he told...and he would have to tell one lie to cover up another lie...So pretty much the past 2 years of my life has been a lie and word vomit...There...I said it...I am not the know it all...I don't have all the answers...and I hurt like hell just like everyone else...But Truth Be Told...there is something that he can never take away from me...He may have taken and broke my heart and soul...But like Paw and the Song says...It's not easy being Fabulous...Well guess what world...That's one damn thing I got...Being Fabulous!!!

Snake In The Grass...

OK...So last night my mother tells me she bumped into The X-Factor at The Shire the other day...She said you could feel how scared he was...That he was just pacing the isles waiting for her to leave the deli counter...Then finally she said he came up on the opposite side and order his gizzards...She said he was beat red...I find it so funny that he is so ashamed that he can't even face my mother...The story kind of chocked me up at first...Just hearing his name does the same thing...I had some friends over last night for a bit and they were amazed at what all I had done for him...It seems like every time I'm almost to the point to where I can let go and let God...something happens...I have to remind myself everyday that he is nothing but a con!!! I don't know how someone as smart as me...fell for his shit and word vomit...It is so sad that people lie...and I look back now and realize how he used me for all I was worth...I really don't know if I'll ever get over this...I waited 20 years to bring someone to my family and introduce them...He was there for Thanksgiving...Christmas...New Years...How does someone do that...Two years of I love you's and then one day they are just gone...no explanation...no nothing...just gone...I'm just sitting here starring at the screen because I don't know what to say...Just be careful and watch out for...The Snakes In The Grass...

No...

So...last night as you know I had an X over...and after listening to all of the word vomit that I could...I finally told him to go back to his Fiancee'...I just couldn't do it...I mean...I had that done to me and it pretty much destroyed my life...well it did...It broke my heart so much that I don't know if I will ever be able to love like I loved him...So I said NO...I know it is a shocker...and I'm sure he went elsewhere and got his rocks off but all I know is that it was not with me and that is all that matters...Some of you have texts...in boxed...or E-Mailed me that I am the next Kerry...but that's not what I'm shooting for...Sometimes...actually most of the time...I don't have the answers...I am just letting you know about my life...like I said...because I know I'm not the only one going thru these things...and I don't want to go thru this life alone...So I have to live my life now...one day at a time...actually that is all any of us can do...because you never know what is going to happen in life...That's just it...The game of Life...Hope everyone enjoys playing...